rainna

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Everything posted by rainna

  1. What are you Eeting right now?

    Sweet potato-lentil-coconut soup! According to the recipe, it was supposed to become stew, but this is soup all right. I don't mind though, it's tasty anyway.
  2. Cheap seats my arse

    Regina's coming to Finland and I was sooo happy until I saw the price of a ticket... 52€ is a lot for a broke student who doesn't even know whether she has a job for summer or not. I didn't realise Regina's so big in Finland already! I don't know what to do. I wish the money would just magically fall from the sky.
  3. Just pointing out the fact that Briana is awesome! As are this song and this recording! Thank you! And of course loads of credit to jesse for finding this!
  4. quote: Rainna: the file worked for me; i can try maybe emailing a copy of my download to you? Also, is this track being added to spektography on youtube? Non-Brumstix-followers deserve to hear this, too! That would be great, thanks! If it isn't too much trouble to send it, my e-mail is .
  5. My computer says it can't find the file (the I Cut off my Hair demo)... Does it work for everybody else, is this just my computer acting out? I love the song and I want to hear this version!
  6. language nerds !!!!

    I'm so so so happy that this thread has been revived! I am a terrible language nerd and I don't know that many people who would share this fascination and have the patience to listen to me blabbering on about langauges... First of all, kaoir, I think your English is execellent! Of course English is as foreign to me as it is to you, but I think you express yourself very clearly and, well, expressively. I love French and I'd love to be a fluent speaker... I'm supposed to be, since I studied the language for eight(?) years, according to the "long programme". I understand it okay, written language especially, but I can't express myself at all. I've never really spoken French with a native speaker, apart from bonjour, merci etc., I've always been too afraid of making stupid mistakes or not being able to say anything at all. I just watched 'La Môme', the film about Edith Piaf, and it was so nice to hear French again! I study singing at school and I've sang some pieces in French. At least in classical or "semi-classical" music it seems that the end vowels are pronounced more often than not. It took some getting used to, but nowadays I quite like how it makes the text flow. What I still find hard is the fact that the 'r' doesn't have to be quite as "throat-y" in singing as it is in speaking... It just sounds so wrong! And finally, a stupid question for English-speking population around here! Lana del Rey's song Video Games is a song that bothers me for multiple reasons, but one of them is the lyrics at the end of the chorus: "They say that the world was built for two/Only worth living if somebody is loving you/Baby now you do" SO, is that correct? Or should it be "is loving you/... now you are"? I confused! And I'm not saying that song lyrics should always be grammatically perfect, but this has been bugging me and I would like to know how this line should work.
  7. Good News Thread!

    Congratulations, Jamie! That's so exciting! I'm glad the application thingy arranged itself after all. From what I hear, Northern England is very beautiful with the the national parks and all (my cousin studies in Durham University, and she has been impressed). I hope you'll have great times there.
  8. What are you Eeting right now?

    Marinated tofu, chinese vegetables and rice! Thank you dad for making generous amounts of awesome food on Sundays so that I can take some with me and have an awesome Monday lunch! (The stuff in school cafeteria is tasty, too, but not as tasty as this.)
  9. Wee Rants

    Thanks for the support! Everything actually worked out in a weird and backwards way - the person responsible of sending out the applications was ill, so any of us applicants didn't have a chance to give out the papers until Wednesday. So they'll probably be at the receiving school a little late, but it won't be my fault, so it shouldn't make me look too bad. I'm so very happy and relieved that I'm pretty much done with the application process. I have invested so much time and energy in it. Now there's really nothing else to do but wait. I don't think my chances to get in are that big, but worrying about it now won't do me any good. I'll just wait and be pleasantly surprised if they will choose me. I guess I am allowed to screw up a little, being still quite young and all, but I tend to be a bit hard on myself about this stuff. Perfectionism + tendency to procrastinate + incapability to remember practical factors about things = an awful lot of stress. But perhaps one has to be a little silly and do stupid mistakes in order to become wise, considerate and reasonable. I certainly hope so! I hope to study in Cork, Ireland. Really, I just want to get away for a while, meet new people and get new experiences, but I've also been fascinated with Ireland for years and even visited the country once. I think it could be nice, and I would hopefully learn to speak English well if nothing else (and absorb the awesome accent, of course!). Fingers crossed!
  10. Wee Rants

    Argh, why must I be such an absent-minded failure?! I am finishing my application for studying abroad next semester and just realised that I lack one important document. A document I must get from a certain office person in my school. She has to translate it herself, so it will porbably take a couple of days, and I so wanted to get this thing posted tomorrow... It won't be a complete disaster if the application will arrive a couple of days late, but I'm just so annoyed at myself for forgetting this one crucial thing. I would have wanted to give a good first impression and at least mail this stuff in time. I really, really want to go and get away for a year, I simply can't screw this up, and that's exactly what I'm doing right now.
  11. Bulletin Posts

    quote: You can freely call me a nerd, I'm definitely deserving of the title... I may or may not have... a sonic screwdriver in real life... lolz. My friends and I call ourselves and each other nerds so freely and lovingly that I tend to forget that other people might not immediately see it as a positive definition, hence the explanation. Personally, I am so much better off being a nerd than being 'cool'. It would be awful to be cool! Cool people never get to be super excited and they can't express themselves freely or act all silly or admit how much they LOVE something or someone, cause they have to be so cool all the time. I like nerds. With imagination, curiosity and enormous capacity to get excited about stuff. (I may or may not... WANT... a sonic screwdriver... SO BAD...) Phew, it seems I am not the sole sufferer of ghost-Tennant syndrome... I'm nearing the end of season five and getting closer and closer to Neil Gaiman's episode. I'm so looking forward to it! Chameleon Circuit is so much fun. I've been quite cautious with them so that I wouldn't run into any spoilers by accident. Luckily I'll soon catch up with everybody else and will be able to listen to them freely.
  12. Bulletin Posts

    YAY for having so many DW nerds here! <3 (Please understand that I use the term 'nerd' in the most loving sense of the word. ). I don't know if I've ever fallen so hard and fast for any other show... Love it! I'm not really a sci-fi fan, but I guess that's mostly because I don't really like traditional action movies or shows. With DW it's different - it's the characters and the stories and the worlds that make this show, not big guns or fast spaceships. Works for me! I think giving up Tennant is so hard for me pertially because I started with season two, so for me he is the first and the original. After that I watched the first season with Eccleston as the Doctor and I liked him a lot, but it took me a while to get used to him. And now, knowing that there will be no more Tennant doing the role... It breaks my heart! I have developed this funny/annoying ghost-Tennant syndrome - sometimes when Matt Smiths says a line or does a gesture or something, I can just see and hear in my head how Tennant would do it. (Okay, that sounded creepy. It's not. At least I hope it's not... ) But I guess I'll get used to and learn to like Eleven. I'm just pretty uncomfortable with them changing everything at once - the main actor and writer and producer and the companion and even the Tardis and Sonic! But again, the show is too great to let these things bother me too much. I will learn to embrace the new stuff.
  13. Bulletin Posts

    I reckon the new album (maybe the new single as well) will bring us some fresh stixers... That would be so nice, it's been pretty quiet lately! (I have been as quiet as anyone else, I admit, but I just don't have anything interesting to say, I guess.) Also, I just read this thread back a little and saw the posts about Doctor Who and New Girl... Why am I always so late??? So yes, currently watching both shows. With Doctor Who I'm at season five, suffering a huge post-David Tennant/Russel T. Davies-depression. There's nothing wrong with Matt Smith, apart from the fact that he's not David Tennant. Oh yes I am a lame fangirl! New Girl hasn't impressed me so far, but since the third episode just came out in Finland, I'm not giving up on it yet. But it'd better get better. Soon.
  14. What are you listening to right now?

    I'm probably (more than) a little late in joining in the Lana Del Rey conversation, but Video Games is a song that keeps on genuinely perplexing me. The first time I heard it it was on the radio and I only caught the last twenty-or-so seconds, but those seconds really got me interested. I looked up the whole song and I kind of liked it. I still do, kind of. I love the background with the harp and the piano and the strings and all, and the melody has some really nice bits, but then there are bits that aren't that interesting. The text isn't that interesting either, at least not for me. I guess for me the biggest problem about the song is Lana (or Lizzy, or whoever she is) herself. She definitely has talent and her voice has a certain uniqueness (is that a word? ) to it, but her manner of singing is so lazy! She sounds and looks bored, mostly, and that annoys me. And even though I definitely don't want to judge a book by its covers, I was a little disappointed to find out that the face behind the voice is this... fake. And still I listen to the song! It's confusing and I'm quite disturbed by the fact that I seem to be this unable to figure out Video Games or the woman behind it.
  15. Six Thoughts...

    quote: 6. I need someone to talk to but I have nothing to say. 1. Shira, you verbalised so well how I've been feeling for the past year or something. It's awful and I hope you feel better. 2. I've been so tired and sleeping doesn't seem to help. 3. I wish I knew what I want from my life. 4. I have so much love in me and nowhere to put it. 5. I do love my family, though. They're fantastic. 6. I also love David Tennant, but the chance of him ever loving me back is pretty slim... Such a shame!
  16. Good News Thread!

    Today, it's the first round of presidential election in Finland. And my candidate is doing well and his on the second round and this is so good! Such a marvelous surprise, we did not see this coming. Pekka Haavisto is so wise and experienced and just a wonderful person. Even though it's quite unlikely that he will actually become the president, I am proud to be a Finn today.
  17. pictures and videos of interest...

    Not sure if this is "of interest" or not, but it made me smile. I wish my local libraries were this creative! failbook.failblog.org/2012/01/...aukee-public-library
  18. Wee Rants

    Mikaela, you are not alone with that feeling! We can be immature and teenage-girlish together. Or something. I have many "best" friends from different phases of my life, but I'm closest with these two right now. First we all got to know each other separately and then we somehow became a trio. I do stuff with both of them without the other and they do stuff without me, but we try to get all together as often as we can. We do the big things together. We don't leave each other out, we share and we invite. And still, for the past months, I've been so sad over the fact that they are going on an interrail trip in Europe next summer without me. They have talked about this very openly, I know all their plans and how they're very enthusiastic to. This whole thing bases on the first time they really talked to each other and ended up joking about them making this epic trip together. I wasn't there, but I've heard the story afterwards. Now they're actually doing it. And I do realise very well that this is THEIR plan and THEIR dream - as I said, I wasn't there. I guess I just thought that four and a half years later it wouldn't matter that I wasn't there, at least not as much as the fact that we are a trio and I love them and I want to do things with them. They know all my trust issues and abandonement issues so I thought it might occur to them that I would be a little hurt. Whenever they talk about this trip and get all enthusiastic about their plans, I try to tell myself that this is their thing and it's not my place to interfere and force myself in if I'm not wanted there. I just hoped that they would want me. It seems I haven't learnt anything about relationships since elementary school, which is kind of pathetic... I guess the smart thing to do would be just to tell them that I feel left out so the whole issue wouldn't just hang in the air ruining my mood. So, Mikaela, in case you are braver than I am, I think you could mention to your friends that you felt excluded? Maybe they were just a little inconsiderate and somehow didn't realise that they made you feel bad. Perhaps if you talked things through you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I hope it all works out for the best.
  19. say something nice...

    Pavlov's Truck must be an awesome person because he lives in Ireland and things in/from Ireland are awesome. Ireland is awesome. Also, studying English literature must be one of the coolest things to study. I hope you're enjoying the Stix! lennonist is one of the nicest people I have ever come across online or off and I'm not going to smack him for misspelling my name. He is smart, empathetic, caring person who really thinks and expresses his thoughts so well. He seems to put time and effort in writing his posts, which is great. I would like to have more people like him in my life. (Seriously, lennonist, a huge big thanks for doing this! You play a huge part in keeping this forum active and I appreciate that a lot. I also appreciate the things you said about me. It made me smile and feel good about myself.)
  20. What are you watching right now?

    My sister is a huge Doctor Who fan and she got some seasons on DVD for Chritmas, so for the past couple of days we've been basically just watching Doctor Who. For me, this is the first time. I'm in love. David Tennant must be one of the most attractive men in this planet (and any other planet as well)!
  21. Good News Thread!

    Congrats, you both! Such great news! It's so nice to know that wonderful things are going on for our wonderful stixers.
  22. Wee Rants

    Thanks, guys, you're kind of great. Today, I do feel better. I managed to talk to my vocal teacher a little bit about all the pressure and frustration and she managed to calm me down a bit. Even though we're not super close with her, she's a nice person and she really has perspective as she's taught so many singers before me. She reminded me that every singer has their own issues they have to struggle with, even the most talented ones, and I'm not alone with this in the universe. She also said that, even though frustration is not something you want to pursue, she is glad that I feel strongly about singing and that it's important for me to learn and improve and become as good as possible. For the sake of my sanity, I personally hope that could take this a little less seriously every now and then... Well, the lesson was alright, nothing great but I wasn't awful either. Then I went to a practising room, did some other assignments and then suddenly felt like working a little on the songs I'm going to sing at concert. Then I sang. I sounded great. And it wasn't just the sound, it also felt so great, so effortless. It wasn't perfect, but it was definitely not bad and it felt like heaven after so many weeks of painful singing. (Actually, it felt exactly like this: .) I walked out of that room ecstatic, walking in the air. Then I went home and threw the classical singing standards out of the window and sang out some songs I love. It was just me, my voice, and my keyboard having a great time together. Such a GOOD day, finally! My biggest problem I guess is the fact that I really don't know what is it that's in my heart... Music is not the thing that's easiest to me, it's not the thing I'm best at. And still I chose it, and I sometimes wonder if that was an idiotic thing to do. But I love it. I just feel like I have to prove myself worthy all the time. If I can't learn to sing, I will have nothing, I will have no right to call myself a musician. Of course the main reason I want to learn is just that I love singing and I want to sing, all the time, sounding good and feeling like I have the right to open my mouth, the right to ask people to listen to me. I'll still have time for hundreds of mood swings about this before the concert on Thursday, but at least I know now that I am able to produce some decent sounds. Fingers crossed for me being able to repeat that trick... PS. lennonist, I almost never dance in clubs (if I ever even go to clubs...) or parties. It's a common joke among my friends that me, a person who spends a great deal of her free time on dancing lessons, won't dance when everyone else does. It just doesn't come naturally to me and dancing like that makes me feel self-conscious and awkward. AND I never sing karaoke, at least not alone. So yeah, shyness all around!
  23. Wee Rants

    Don't feel like a total bitch, Jamie! The fact that you think about this and feel bad about it proves that you're not. Those kinds of situations are always awful and I don't think there is a neat, nice and merry way to deal with them. You just have to try and do it as nicely as you can, which I'm sure you did. I've only been there once and I'm not even sure if the guy had any high hopes about us, but it still made me feel like a horrible person. I wanted to like him "that way", I wanted it so much, but I couldn't, and it was pretty obvious that it just wouldn't work out for us. I hope he has found himself someone nice, nicer than me. So here comes the rant... My new thing: freaking out and crying while attempting to sing. As I must have metioned a bazillion times already, I study to become a music teacher and singing is obviously part of my studies. I have always loved singing so much, it has been the thing that makes me feel good and helps me deal with my emotions. I love taking singing lessons at school, it's what I've always dreamt about. I'm not great, but I practise and I try and hopefully someday I will be. Lately I've been feeling like I'm going nowhere with my singing. Like I'm not improving at all, like I'm completely stuck. These phases have come and gone before, but this time it has gotten real bad. For the past couple of weeks singing has felt so bad. The anxiety kicks in whenever I start practising and it just keeps growing stronger. I feel like I have no control whatsoever over my voice. It gets worse and worse until I break down in tears and feel the urge to scream (which is not something I do, normally). I don't really know why. I just get so frustrated. I can't enjoy singing at all, right now it's just a source of negative feelings and failure. The one thing I have always trusted to help me and make me feel better is failing me, and I don't know how to be without it. In less than two weeks, I'm supposed to sing in a concert but I can't seem to practise at all without ending up hating myself and my voice and my stupid body that won't do what I need it to do. Now I'm scared that I won't be able to survive the concert without falling apart in front of everyone. A trivial rant, I know, but I really don't have anyone to talk to about this for I don't know what's wrong with me. This whole situation makes me feel like a complete failure as a musician. Maybe I'm just not good enough, maybe I'll never be, and if I had any sense in me I would just quit and start doing something else instead. That thought freaks me out even more.
  24. Wee Rants

    Thanks, Brady, it means a lot to me to know that I'm not just totally overreacting! I do feel kind of like I've been dumped through Facebook... The whole situation is just so riduculously awkward and difficult to live with. I really wish I had the guts to tell her that I'm really annoyed and that I think I have evry right to be. How can it be so hard to express negative enotions...? lennonist, my advice to you: go to the concert. The fact that you are ready to sacrifice that kind of event in order to study shows that you are a good, hardworking student who will do marvelously even if you spend one night doing something else. And as you said, exams can be re-taken. If there is a chance the the concert will be something you'll remember for the rest of your life, you shouldn't miss it. Of course I don't know you well enough to make a hundred percent accurate analysis, but I will tell you to go anyway. Tell your professors I forced you to.
  25. Wee Rants

    I can't remember if I ever ranted about my flatmates here in the Stix last year, but in case I didn't, a summary: I had tons of trouble with them. I think it was mainly because they broke the housing rules and we had trouble communicating. So last spring, when a friend of mine from school asked me whether I would like to find a flat with her for the upcoming autumn, I told her a happy yes. I knew there could be issues caused by both living and studying with the same person, but I was ready to deal with them. Anything would be better than living with random strangers! We got a lovely place from this student housing association thingy, and we've been living here for two months now. Things have gone pretty smoothly. There are some features I find annoying about my current flatmate and I'm sure she feels the same way about me, but we get on well in general. Last summer, even before we moved in here, her boyfriend proposed to her. We had been living in our flat for a couple of weeks when she told me that they are going to get married on February. I wondered to myself whether they would keep on living separately even after they have become and husband and a wife, but since her boyfriend lives and studies in a different town 100 km away from our college town and she hasn't said anything about moving in with him, I thought that she would live with me until the schoolyear is over, at the end of May, and we would reconsider the situation then. Maybe I was just stupid. Last Friday I was sitting in a train, waiting for it leave and take me home to my family for the weekend. Another friend of mine came to sit with me and we chatted all through the train ride. At one point, she said "So, [my flatmate] will be moving out, then?". I looked at her, very confused, and told her that as far as I knew, she wasn't going anywhere. "Oh, okay then. I just read on Facebook that she and [her boyfriend] got and apartment from Vantaa...". I just got more and more confused, but as I got home, I checked my Facebook and saw her status that clearly stated that she had got a flat with her boyfriend and that she'll move in with him on February. What upset me the most, and still does, is the fact that she hadn't even metioned to me that they were looking for a place. Maybe she thought it was too obvious to talk about, but for me it wasn't. The best part - she still hasn't said anything to me directly. Not a word. We haven't really talked about anything this week, for I'm so angry and I think it should be up to her to bring it up and not just assume that I saw it on her Facebook. After last year I really hate the thought of some stranger moving in here, in my home, but that's what's going to happen after she's gone. It's really nasty living with someone you're really mad at, but I'm way to spineless to express my anger and disappointment directly. I know it's stupid, I know it's childlish, but that's how it is for me. Meh.