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Posts posted by rainna

  1. 1. Summer in the city, I'm so lonely, lonely, lonely...

    2. Shouldn't one's tolerance for loneliness increase as one ages, not decrease?

    3. Amanda Palmer is a wonder.

    4. Waiting can be hard.

    5. I wish I could be calmer about things.

    6. This computer can be so damn slow.

  2. I tend to say that clichés are chlichés because they work/are true. So maybe I have created a cliché about clichés? Go me! Big Grin Anyway, I hope you're feeling better. I can vividly remember myself crying on the floor of our hall, for I had tried to put my coat on a hanger and it fell off. That happens, but luckily it's not permanent.

  3. You're sweet, thank you. I would love to write more and more for it's so nice talking to you (writing with you? anyway), but I just can't come up with anything that would have anything to do with this particular thread, so maybe I shouldn't post? I feel kind of silly. But still. I'll shut up now? Smiler

  4. Hee, that line was the best thing Lost has had to offer me during the past.. three seasons maybe. Big Grin I'm a duct tape enthusiast, I've fixed for instance dresses for a dance performance with that, and I solidly believe that you could fix a plane with that material. That's how awesome it is.

  5. Thank you guys, it makes me feel better when I know I'm not alone with these feelings! (And I have to say, Henry, I've missed you! Where in the world have you been hiding? It's great to have you back.) In general I'm a very very emotional person who feels both the good stuff and the bad stuff very strongly, so I did expect this to be hard. And it is hard. But maybe it's possible to survive.

    Somewhere here I gave a little messy explanation about the Finnish education system, so I won't go into details here, but the bottom line is that there is a huge possibility that I won't have a studying place at all next year. That's probably the hardest part for me. I'm used to doing well, I'm the A+ girl, and now I find myself in a situation like this... I'm also sort of hyperactive person who needs stuff to do. I've been superbusy for the past six years or so. Having nothing interesting to do would drive me crazy FAST. Oh well. I should just shut down this scared part of my brain for there's nothing I can do until I get to know the result of my entrance exam.

    But really, I have to repeat that I appreciate your support so much. Love you people. And I sincerely hope that college will become easier for you with time.

  6. quote:
    rainna: Why don't you want to graduate? Are you missing requirements, or just unwilling to leave your school? Or something else? I was very happy to graduate high school, and can't wait for college to be over...

    I'm just extremely unwilling to leave my school. I loved my school (and I still do), it was the best. It was a kind of arts school, we got to study drama and music and dance and writing etc., so it was kind of special in that manner too. I loved the courses and the teachers and my friends and the whole attitude and atmosphere there so much! For me, it was probably the first place ever where I felt like I truly fit in. I had a hard time in secondary school and when I started upper secondary, I was very shy, insecure and had basically no self-esteem. During my three years there I grew so much, learnt so much. I learnt to like myself and I learnt that other people can find me likeable too. That and so much more (even writing this is making me weepy...).

    No that I'm out of there I'm just very scared. Scared of losing my friends, hobbies, confidence... And since my studying future is very insecure right now, I feel like there will be no place for me outside the school. This sounds so silly, but I think that's one of my biggest concerns now. I've spent three years in this fantastic little bubble, but now I've been thrown to real world and I really don't like it here.

  7. quote:
    Sounds like the whole higher education thing runs very differently in Finland than it does here.... Well I wish you the best of luck in your endeavors in the coming months!

    You got it right there. At the end of upper secondary school we have these nation wide exams, matriculation exams. You have to take the test in at least four subjects, there's no maximum. I took it in seve subjects and did quite well. L is the best possible grade and I got five of them. But that's not enough. During the graduation sprig you'll have to decide what you want to study in the future. For some subjects you apply to University, for some to a School of Applied Sciences. I applied to an university to become a teacher, but I basically didn't study for the entrance exam, so they won't take me. and this other school I applied to is music stuff and they basically don't give a shit about how you did in school. It's just the entrance exam that matters. So yeah, it's different. It's very hard to get a studying place right after upper secondary in Finland. A great deal of us have a year off, intentionally or because they didn't get in where they wanted. I guess I'll be one of them... But in Finland higher education is free of charge, so that's why the competition is very hard.

  8. Thanks, you're sweet. Smiler

    I did kind of suck, though, and I don't think they will take me in, so I guess there won't be school for me next year... Weird. But maybe I'll come up with something.

    Luckily the money issue is getting a bit smaller since I got a part time job. So there's some good stuff too, not just ranty rants. Smiler

  9. This summer...

    REGINA SPEKTOR is coming to Finland.

    IMOGEN HEAP is coming to Finland.

    TORI AMOS is coming to Finland.

    The rant: I'm broke. I have absolutely no job, which means absolutely no money. I'm graduating this spring so there's a chance that I'll get some money as gifts and as I did well in my exams I might get some kind of award from school, but it would feel kind of shallow to use that money for festivals... Darn. Plus I'll be in Sweden with Regina when Imogen is here. If only Imogen could be in Sweden, too!

  10. Hello Paige! Welcome to stix, I hope you like it here.

    I'm rainna, which is not my real name but I'm not sure if I've ever told my real name here in the stix, so it's not that relevant anyway. I'm 18, just about to graduate high school here in Finland where I live. I've been int Regina... a while, I guess, can't tell for sure, but I've also been a bad, non-active stixer lately. First I was so very busy graduating, then doing my diploma in music and now I'm trying hard to get a student place for next year...But in case I'll be able to be around a little more, this is me and I hope I'll meet you here often!

  11. So, a tiny update question: Am I really the only stixer who's going to Arvika? I*m super super excited for it'll be my first live Regina experience, but it would be even more awesome if I had the chance to meet a stixer or two there. Smiler But based on this thread, I'll be alone there stixer-wise?

  12. quote:
    "The air castle that got blown up" (translation issues...)

    In Finnish it's "The castle in the sky that collapsed" (Pilvilinna joka romahti), but I'm not sure if it corresponds well with the Swedish title. (Oh yes, this comment was quite irrelevant, but I love being language-nerdy Big Grin)

    I just started reading "The Raw Shark Texts" by Steven Hall. I'm still quite undecided about wheter I like it or not. At least it's different, and different is often interesting.

  13. I'm loving everybody's Good Music News! <3

    Since I haven't had any stix time in ages (even though I promised myself I would become more active again...) tons of stuff has happened, both good and bad, but here comes the selected good stuff:

    I had my first concert as a singer-songwriter. It was a diploma work of my friend and me for school. We had both written a few songs and added in a couple of covers including Human of the Year. Oh yes. I sang Human of the Year. In front of people. I wasn't horribly ashamed of my voice, just a little bit. I'm very proud. I'm also very proud about the fact that I was really able to write songs and perform them. Half a year ago I was still quite certain that I would never ever ever write one single song. So far I've wrote four and I definitely will write more. It sounds silly, but I truly love this singing-songwriting thing. It makes me feel like I actually am more than just nothingness. I'm something.

    I also got invited to the entrance exam of a school I really want to get in to. I would be studying how to teach music to little children and I think I would love it! I don't think they'll take me this year, but I'm still glad they're giving me a chance instead of just dropping me out based on my application forms. The first exam is next tuesday. I do practise. Big Grin

    Finally, I can't tell if this good or bad news but I'll find out soon enough: the final, official results of my matriculation exams, my upper secondary finals, whatever, are coming next week, on Friday. Aaaa! I think I did quite well, but you can never be certain until you get the final results. Nerve wrecking!

  14. My current literary love is Douglas Coupland. 'Eleanor Rigby' must be one of the most beautiful books I've ever read. I started reading 'Hey Nostradamus' today and it seems like a great book too. It's so satisfying to run into a wonderful author and find out that he has written as many books as Coupland has. I have plenty lovely books just waiting for me to come and read.

    And I bet that this one has been recommended billions of times, but I just have to point out that 'To Kill a Mockingbird' by Harper Lee is marvelous and definitely worth reading. I've had it in my shelf for many years but I just hadn't managed to really read it until last week. Wow.

  15. My rant: not having any stix time nowadays!

    The reasons are simple: school (which luckily is pretty much over), applying to colleges (which sucks), studying for entrance exams (which I just don't do, even though I really should) and music. Music is fine, oh it's not fine it's just fantastic. I've been writing songs. They're no good, but I still glad I'm writing them. Now that I have started I can start to get better at it. May I just say I love music (oops, that wasn't a rant at all).

    But yes, I feel bad for not having I slightest idea about how you guys are doing nowadays. Frowner Stupid, busy life!

  16. Yay for choir nerdness! (I'm horrible when it comes to choirs. I could easily spend like nine hours talking choir stuff).

    My Good News: I'm practically graduated! My last exam was today, I definitely passed and oh man! It's done now! I feel so empty and tired and even kind of miserable (I'm going to miss my school so very very much!), but I think the joy is coming. Little by little. I'll just need some time to adjust to the fact that I won't have to study for those damn exams anymore.