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Josh

Happy birthday Regina

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HAL-LeLUJAH! HAL-LeLuJah! HAL-LeLUJah! HALLeLujah! HALLeLujaH! HAL-LE-Lu-JAH!!!

Queen of Queens and... something...something...IT IS THE NIGHT...when our savior, Regina, was bOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

(Kinda combined Handel's Messiah with O Holy Night...that was confusing, but fun...even though no one could hear it...) My lovely mademoiselle: Hope your birthday is the most wonderful birthday ever because you deserve it...You little musical prodigy, You! At least having a wonderful birthday would be a small token of appreciation in return for the amount of lives you touched...We all all love you, Regina! Happy Birthday, belle!

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Regina-

I didn't get you a present and I feel bad, so here's a story about how you were born instead:

February in Russia...the clouds hung silver above the crystal white snow that covered the ground and sparkled occasionally when the sun decided to peak his face through the clouds...the sun yawned. "Boooring",he sighed."I can't see anything on the earth below on a cloudy day like this...*sigh*"

Meanwhile an old babushka tottled through the snow wearily on her uneven legs, while holding a basket between her gnarled hands. Within in the basket were five rose bulbs...one for each of her cats. She suddenly stumbled on a tree root hidden deep under the snow. The smallest bulb tumbled onto the pearly ground...the babushka tried to run after the bulb, but her socks became wetter and wetter and colder and colder as she trudged after it through the snow. Finally, the babushka decided to give up the matter...i mean..come on...she had wet socks. The babushka continued on her way while the tiny rose bulb lay cold and lonely."oooooo...it's quite nippy, isn't it?", she inquired to a snowflake. The snowflake said nothing."Forgive me for being rude, but i must leave you in search of someplace warmer where i can blossom into a beautiful rose for all to enjoy."The snowflake said nothing."Good-bye,then. This has been a lovely chat."The snowflake waved good-bye. The bulb, with a great effort, began to roll across the white plain. And she rolled, and she rolled, and rolled, and rol-PLOP! The tiny bulb had fallen into an earthy hole that a little girl had dug earlier that day in search of the cheese-covered core of the earth. For a while, the bulb spun around the hole like a spinning Matryoshka doll until she bumped into a dandelion sending her feathery seeds floating toward the silver sky...

The sun waited patiently for the clouds to part...when he caught sight of the snowy ground, the tiny, brown rose bulb caught his eye in the sea of sparkling white. The corners of his mouth lifted into a visible grin, then he smiled fully and started to chuckle. Then started to laugh...and laugh...and laugh...until he was roaring with laughter. He laughed so much the entire earth shook with his laughter and then the whole world was laughing along with him and he rolled through the sky in his happiness and in the world's happiness and they all laughed in harmony. Until...a feathery dandelion seed flew directly into the sun's nose. The sun sniffled. Then..."AH...AH...AH...AH-CHOO!!!!!" The sun sneezed a tremendous sneeze and sent a warm, golden glob of sun booger heading straight for the earth. The golden snot hit the rose bulb directly and the bulb, itself, glowed golden. A pickle salesman, seeing the spectacle, dropped his box of pickles next to the glowing bulb. A drummer, buying the pickles, dropped one of his drumsticks in suprise which landed conveniently on the other side of the bulb. "Oh Boy, Here it Comes, again!", the sun shouted."AH...AH...AH-CHOO!!!!" This time, the sun bumped into one of the clouds. The cloud, whose name happened to be Earl, had all the wind knocked out of him, so there was only rain left. So Earl began to rain ,softly at first, then transitioned himself into a wonderful storm, with deafening thunder and blue streaks of lightening until he was all rained out. The storm lasted for exactly thirty seconds.

The sun shone through the hole where Earl used to be...and he shone his beams directly onto the bulb who had sat through the series of events peacfully and quietly. The bulb then miraculously opened to reveal a green, thorny sprout which started to grow...and dance...and grow...and dance...and grow...until...

a perfect bud formed at the top of the growing, dancing tangle of thorny twigs...and then..salmon colored petals fell one-by-one into a beautiful arrangement of a perfect rose. The petals parted in the middle to reveal a beautiful baby girl with delicate pink lips and two lovely blue almond-shaped cat eyes full of sweetness and sadness and two vast, blue oceans. I would like to say she had hair, but she didn't...she was bald. Just then, An old, rickety truck drove by and spewed carbon monoxide into the baby's face. The baby girl gargled and coughed little baby coughs and frowned at the truck. A woman stood in the distance and had watched the entire spectacle. Under her arm she carried a toy piano for a daughter she did not have. The pickle salesman and the drummer stood a few paces back from this beautiful baby girl, but the woman stepped forward, took the baby into her arms, and placed the toy piano in ground in front of her. The girl reached for the black and white keys. "ooooo....oooooo", she cooed softly in a flowing baby voice. The woman let her down. She went up the piano and did the first wonderful thing in her life..."she played the piano. And they were the most beautiful songs the pickle salesman, the drummer, and the warm-hearted woman had ever heard."She is magic girl!", the pickle salesman exclaimed. "What shall we do with her?",asked the drummer.The woman stayed silent for a moment."I shall raise this magic girl,"she said. "I will be her mother...And i shall call her Regina."

When Regina's mother took Regina home, Regina did the 2nd wonderful thing in her life. She heated socks on the stove until they were toasty, then she carried them outside and walked to the old Babushka's house. In one hand, she held a pair of toasty socks, in the other she held a block of cheese. She knocked on the door with her tiny fist. The Babushka gladly accepted the socks("one can never travel in wet socks these days", she said.) Regina was about to leave until the Babushka yelled,"Wait! You forgot your cheese!" Regina looked her and smiled a baby smile."Oh No! That's for you...it came from the center of the earth, it's bound to come in handy sometime..." Then she smiled and waved good-bye and resided into her world of flowers, drumsticks, pickles, and carbon monoxide while the old woman shook her head in astonishment....

The End??

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Sorry for the belated shout out. My dishwasher blew up and I spent Regina's birthday running around.

So.... Happy Birthday. Now begins the 4 months period of time when you are 3 years older than me. I like 26, although it is divisible by 13. 13 has always been pretty lucky for me though. My 22nd year was a bit better.... that may be as a result of it being divisible my 11.

Not much I can do further in the wit department since the septic smell from the blown up dishwasher is making me loopy. (lets all pretend I was capable of posting a very profound and prolific statement in regards to Regina's birthday)

Later days,

Shawn

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