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BlueMermaid

Love Woes?

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Yea, I've fricken' got one.

So, this girl and I have liked each other for over a year now, but never did anything about it because she had a girlfriend. Recently, her and I had been spending alot of time together, and had a talk a couple of weeks ago about how she was falling in love with me, but still loved her girlfriend, so we still couldn't be together. Well, I got a text message from her the next day, saying that she had broken up with her girlfriend. Over the next couple of days, her and I were talking alot, and things were going great. But then she started talking to me less and less, then finally told me over a text message that she was back with her old girlfriend after only being "broken up" with her for about four days.

Basically, I am in love with her, and I haven't seen, or talked to her since I got that text message from her. I'm scared to even see her because I don't know how to act around her, or how she'll be towards me. I want things to be how they were when we last saw each other...

And there's my rant...What's yours? Razzer

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Yea, I've fricken' got one.

So, this girl and I have liked each other for over a year now, but never did anything about it because she had a girlfriend. Recently, her and I had been spending alot of time together, and had a talk a couple of weeks ago about how she was falling in love with me, but still loved her girlfriend, so we still couldn't be together. Well, I got a text message from her the next day, saying that she had broken up with her girlfriend. Over the next couple of days, her and I were talking alot, and things were going great. But then she started talking to me less and less, then finally told me over a text message that she was back with her old girlfriend after only being "broken up" with her for about four days.

Basically, I am in love with her, and I haven't seen, or talked to her since I got that text message from her. I'm scared to even see her because I don't know how to act around her, or how she'll be towards me. I want things to be how they were when we last saw each other...

And there's my rant...What's yours? Razzer

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How funny... I have a love woe myself. I dated a girl between October and December in 2005 (i know that seems really short, but bear with me now). When she broke up with me, i was devastated. It had only been two months, but i had felt something for her that i had never felt for anyone else before. For about a month or so afterwards, we rarely talked despite seeing each other at school fairly often. Finally, after we had both gotten over each other a little bit, we became friends again. We got really close, calling each other on the phone every night and spending time together whenever possible. Come April of 2006, while giving her a back massage i owed her one day (that's a long story), things started to happen. Clothes stayed on, but things happened nonetheless. She said she regretted it and that she didn't do it out of liking me, but because she was lonely, and i did my best to move on.

About two days later she got a boy at her work's number, and they began dating. I was devastated once again. I managed to get over her for the most part despite the ongoing jealousy. They broke up in December of last year, and she's started dating again very recently. We're still great friends.

Now arises the problem: I've realized i never really stopped having feelings for her. I stifled them when she was dating the new guy because i had no other choice. Now i know for sure that i'm in love with her, and i don't want to see her date someone else. I can't really tell her though, because she's the best friend i've ever had and i don't want to ruin it. I'm not necessarily asking for advice in sharing this, but it would be appreciated.

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You need to decide what is more important to you, the friendship or the love. Based on her past behavior towards you it's my opinion (I think that's what your asking for?) that you should stick with the friendship. But then the question becomes, can you separate the two feelings and squelch your love towards her? If not, it may be time for a complete clean break. As you already know it's no fun loving someone who doesn't love you back. Good luck.

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I've done this! I've been in this situation! (as have probably a billion or so of our fellow humans)

I have no idea how to deal with it, but I can tell what happened with me...

I told her I liked her. It was odd, because we told eachother we loved eachother many times before that, but it was just because we were so damn close that love was a given. True love though, as you would love a family member.

The word "like" was the one that got me into a situation though. She obviously didn't know how to respond to this because she thought of me as a brother... I felt so incredibly awkward that I couldn't stand to face her after I felt that I had "screwed things up" by putting that big wall of feelings between us (in hindsight, this was probably a much bigger deal to me than it was her, as I was the one with all the feelings - love, sadness, awkwardness, and regret for bringing it up).

We didn't speak for over a year, maybe even closer to two years. Though we saw eachother around at school and whatnot.

Finally one day, I realised I had grown out of it, and it wasn't weird for me anymore. Talking to her again was a problem though. How do you re-initiate that kind of a relationship after you abandoned it? Mmm-hmmmmm. Then I was lucky and saw her sister and mom at the grocery store. I talked to them, her mom asked where I had been, etc etc... I passed a message along to say "Hi" for me, and that was my in.

The next time i saw her, I asked if she got my message, and she immediately replied with, "I thought you hated me" in a very solemn voice. I was like "Whaaat!? It's actually exactly the opposite of that!" We immediately clicked again, and are best friends to this day. I'm glad now that it worked out the way it did, because we would've been a horrible couple, haha. But when your young, it's sometimes hard to know what you love until you experience it, and that was exactly why I made the whole mistake in the first place.

Lesson learned, and I don't regret it because I couldn't have known what would've happen until I tried. I do wish I hadn't lost almost two years of the greatest friendship I've ever had though, but maybe now I appreciate it more?

Anyway, I'm sorry I have no answers, but that was fun to reminisce.

"Hindsight is always 20/20. but looking back it's still a bit fuzzy"

(if anyone knows this quote without looking it up, you're awesome)

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