Em Mitchell

Wee Rants

Recommended Posts

Hi everyone,

I'm no longer an active poster here but I used to love this community. Recently it came to my attention that people from this forum have been sending malicious emails about me and ".", dating back to the time I used to post here frequently. I used to think this community was like a little family who all bonded over our shared love of Regina's music. That is not the case. In private some of the people on this forum can be genuinely malicious and backstabbing. The worst part is that you'll never suspect it. You'll think they're your friends and only months or years later you'll find out that they disliked you all along.

I'm not saying everyone on this forum is like this. There are certainly some wonderful people on here who do truly just want to share Regina's music without trying to take down people they dislike. But there are two-faced people on this forum, and they are not trustworthy. To those of you who joined this forum within the past year or two, BE CAREFUL when you post here. Do not give out any personal information, not even the city where you live. Do not post information about your personal choices and feelings. When you post information about yourself, people can and will use it against you. They act friendly but they are judging you every second and they will use that information against you the second you do something that gets you on their bad side.

One example of the kind of backstabbing I'm talking about: A long time ago, some members of the stix got angry at me and "." for deleting our posts on this forum (which we had deleted out of concern for our personal safety). In retaliation for what we did, they circulated derogatory, malicious emails about our personal choices and lives. I thought that was not only irrelevant, but hugely out of proportion and a little bit scary. I'm scared to go to Regina concerts anymore for the sole reason that I don't want to run into these people.

If you're one of the people I'm talking about, you're probably thinking that I'm overreacting to some internet drama that happened a long time ago. You can think that if you want. But if you do, then you're failing to realize that mistreating people on the internet can be truly hurtful. When I joined this forum, I respected and liked all of you. It doesn't feel good to be stabbed in the back by people I respected and liked.

A few people have poisoned this community and I caution all of you not to trust the people you meet here.

Don't bother sending hate mail in response to this post; we already know we're hated!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I haven't been here long enough to understand this drama, but this is troubling. I recall expressions of good will towards you on your birthday (http://reginaspektor.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/454107688/m/5191052242?r=67610664621#67610664621)

and I am shocked that there would be such ill will among us. I think the community here is at the very least ambivalent rather than leering with hate or dislike.

I don't hate anyone (or at least I try not to). Judge not lest ye be judged. Let he who is within sin cast the first stone. I am a stoic and a secular humanist/atheist, but I don't see why we can't take stock in good morals when we see them.

I know I have made my share of stupid and youthful posts. I have revealed a lot of information about myself. You can question my hipster or indie credentials, and you would be right to, because I'm slow to discovering good music and you can roll your eyes when I finally find out about a band or artist or whatever. However, I absolutely don't care how I am perceived. I am not sure if this is a good quality about me or not, but I really don't care what people think of me. If I err or make mistakes, you can laugh, but I am only human. So, I would say to you, don't worry what others think about you because they probably don't.

If what you say is true, then do you mind outting these persons who seem to have a vendetta against you and the other person? Maybe we can hold those people accountable and call them to explain their actions. Can you describe in further detail how you were "backstabbed" or wronged? Our resident mod seems to be missing in action, so I guess it's up to us to check each other, until another mod gets appointed or something. Again, I don't pretend to understand the history of the issues here.

I still like this community. There are smart and nice people here. The conversations seem to quieten during busy times. I wish there was less arguing and more listening to music and sharing of it. As Socrates said, it is our duty to learn from our neighbors and to constantly examine our own selves.

I wish you the best.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Frowner This post really troubles me! I'm terribly sorry about what you have experienced Eats Beats....That sounds very hurtful. I too have thought that this community is full of great and wonderful people. Being able to express my love for Regina's music with others makes me so happy. I still think the people on here are great and I don't think we need to generalize all people on this forum. I can definitely see why you are cautious however.

And I most certainly do not think you're overeacting even though I wasn't part of this conflict. Regina's music means so much to me, so therefore this forum also does as well. Her music has impacted my life so much and coming to a place where I can share my love with other fans is just so great.....I don't want to repeat myself. All I'm saying is that I totally understand why you are upset and want to encourage everyone on here to be mature and polite. Yes this is just the internet but you can definitely hurt feelings.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Frowner I feel so bad for you, Kate! That's just awful. With stuff like that going on, it's no wonder that people stop posting... I always thought that this community would be free of those kinds of things and it's shocking and sad to find out that's not the case. Of course it doesn't change the fact that we have plenty of lovely stixers around here, but I would want to stop trusting this forum in general. I don't know what to say.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember receiving about 2 weird emails like a month ago labeled "brumstix bulletin post" - I have to go back and reread them. It was like forwarded conversations from other brumstix folk, stuff about the demo tape leaks, and stuff about Eat Beats and rawin, and an email saying that andreseng is the mod of the forum. I'm assuming that these are the malicious emails you're referring to, Eats Beats? Did anybody else get these emails? I saw no mention of it on the forum, but it's very weird.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Wow Kate,I'm really sorry that you've received these hateful e-mails.

I dont post myself much these days,i dont think this place ever recovered from the demo tape argument and all the deceit that rawin's revelations uncovered (love ya buddy),but to target you both for this and any other reason is so wrong.For those responsible its WRONG,grow up.

I felt as if opinions towards me changed after the argument because I dared to voice an opinion,people either left or chose never to respond to anything anymore..oh well,never mind.

I will admit I was a bit disappointed that you both deleted most of your posts, but not for any other reason than I enjoyed re-reading some of the banter we had between us,one in particular with rawin (he'll remember),but I do understand your reasons for doing so.

Anyway,again I'm sorry you've been made to feel like this ,but you are NOT hated from over here.

Miss you Kate,oh and rawin I suppose...tell him I said Hi.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thank you all for your thoughts and input.

lennonist and bum bum bum, I totally understand you guys wanting to know the details of what went on. But the intention of my previous post was not to dredge up old drama, and certainly not to name names. My intention was to caution all of you about what you reveal and who you trust on the internet--even on a forum like the stix. I was trying to make the point that no matter how friendly a forum may seem, you can still get hurt even if you have no ill will towards anybody.

rainna, Brady, and Emerrrr, I completely agree that there are kind and wonderful people on this forum. I stated as much in my earlier post. And thank you, mattress city, for your ongoing support and honesty. I can easily think of at least six or eight people I met on the stix and then later met in person, who are utterly kind and trustworthy and who became good friends. But the reason I post these cautioning words is because we cannot assume EVERYONE on the forum is kind and trustworthy. That was my mistake on the stix.

So, bum bum bum, my intention wasn't to make anyone feel "like idiots or afraid and suspicious." My intention was exactly what I stated in my first post and state here again, that you should all simply exercise caution in what you post because not everyone on here is harmless.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know it's the internet, and internet people are generally untrustworthy douchebags...however, I expected much better from ReSpekt fans, her being such a classy lady and all. She definitely wouldn't condone this type of behavior from fans, and its disgraceful that some fans would be so horrible to each other.

What's most troubling is the tone of those emails - the arrogance and spectacularly obnoxious sense of superiority held by some who have been here longer than others. You have alienated a lot of newer fans - you know, the so-called "BTH fans" who got into Regina's music because Fidelity was so hugely popular; the ones you have gone to great lengths to ridicule on this forum, when they are the very ones who ensured that Regina could keep making the music we all love! I guess you would have preferred she remain unknown, scrounging out a living in seedy bars. Your attitude is the reason this forum has seen such a slow growth, and has generally become an unfriendly place.

EB, I'm genuinely sorry about the horrid things that were written about you, and that it was so maliciously passed around. However, you shouldn't be afraid of these people. They are cowards, as evidenced by the fact that they chose to say those things via email, rather than to your face as adults would. We are all here for the music - don't allow the negativity of some people prevent you from going to Regina's shows.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

quote:
Originally posted by rainna:

Of course it doesn't change the fact that we have plenty of lovely stixers around here, but I would want to stop trusting this forum in general. I don't know what to say.

(EDIT: I've been severely debating whether or not to post this.)

I don't think it's necessary to stop trusting people here, though I personally wouldn't blame you if you did after reading what's been posted.

The thing is, this stuff... is old. It happened a long time ago, in the past, back when the 'Stix was a more (seemingly) tightly knit group of people. The emails that were sent out were also old, dating from between early 2007 to mid 2009. Most of the members that were involved (in one way, or another) don't even post anymore. The state of things then are not the state of things now, I don't think anyone needs to worry, and to be completely honest, I don't think we're the right kind of community at this point to have this kind of thing build up and happen again.

Don't get me wrong, what people were doing, and what's been said... it's all really messed up and none of it should have happened, but I don't know why this forum should have to suffer another blow when this issue has been out of it for years and it's just barely recovering from the first hit.

It's in the past, can't we leave it there?

This isn't necessarily directed at you or R, EB. You and him obviously have every right and reason to be upset over the emails, and I don't blame you for it, I've just felt this way since I read them and still feel that way. I just don't understand why this is even relevant to anyone anymore, the whole thing?

Either way, I never really understood why you two left until I got these emails, and I'm really sorry about the events leading up to it. I wish everything had turned out differently.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now