Em Mitchell

Wee Rants

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I go to get my wisdom teeth out in fifteen minutes. They are knocking me out. I am terrified of IVs. I once fainted at the thought of getting one.

(mother was in hospital for day surgery, had an IV in, I started asking questions about it - does it hurt, etc., then suddenly felt dizzy, my dad offered his chair but I fainted and hit my head on it instead)

It's a completely irrational fear (I have nine peircings and have always been fine with those, I don't freak out before needles but feel dizzy anytime after getting more than one at a time and the idea of giving blood and IVs have always freaked me out)

Right this second I'm not feeling afraid or dizzy or anything, but as soon as the doctors start talking about them I'll suddenly be terrified and want to cry. It feels kind of like super bad stage fright. When I first had a consultation with my normal dentist all he did was sit in the office and tell me that I should go to a specialist who uses an IV and I choked up. Same thing happened when I went to the guy to make an appointment. (I told the specialist about the fainting thing and he offered to let me have some laughing gas type stuff beforehand so that I wouldn't be freaking out)

Eeks. Anyway, yes I am more afraid of the anesthetic than I am of the pain that comes when it wears off, actually, I'm not afraid of the pain caused by getting an IV stuck in me either, I'm not sure what aspect of needles makes my brain freak out. It's just this complletely irrational fear and I can't controll it, I'm a very reasaonable person and it's not that I'm paranoid, I just honestly feel like I'm going to fall over and faint/die every time I've gotten a couple needles on the same appointment.

Sorry for the super long ranty freak out thing. Can any one relate to my particular brand of crazy?

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Aw, Shira, I hope everything goes well! I sort of hope that they could take my wisdom teeth off already. I don't fancy the idea of having surgery, but the growing teeth are so damn painful...

My "rant": I had a job interview today and I'm probably going to have a date with this guy I've never met in person tomorrow. I'm really happy I got to the interview and I'm really happy that he asked me out, but the nervousness is killing me. Today I spent half the day panicking about the interview and feeling a little sick because of the nervousness. The interview went okay and I was able to calm down. That was until I came home and saw the message this guy had sent me... And now I have the pleasure of spending the whole night AND the next day roaming around restlesly, feeling like puking. I know there's not that much to worry about but I just can't help myself. Giving the first impression to someone you think you might like is so scary, and I have practically no experience of these kinds of situations. I'm afraid I'll ruin everything by being shy and stupid and the whole thing will be beyond awkward.

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Rainna - I know the feeling of worrying wayyy too much about things while you know it's going to be okay. But really, it is going to be okay. People are just people, you know :] You'll do great.

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Recovering realy well from the wisdom teeth. They gave me the gas which was good but I still had a bit of a panic attack. Phobias are the weirdest things...

Anyway, decided it was time to finally get the haircut I wanted for the summer today since I was feeling alright and had one last day off. The stylist messed up, went way shorter than what I asked and basically cut me a little bob-cut... she tried fix it up and felt really bad but it's still so shockingly SHORT for me. I havent really changed my hairstyle in years and even when I was little it was always at least shoulder length. Feeling awful she told me I didn't have to pay for it. Luckily the boyfriend likes it. Still, its going to take some getting used to. Sigh. It's only hair, it will grow.

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I've been feeling really depressed and lonely lately... I just feel like I've missed so much because of not being in school, and I'm still missing a lot of things now... I wish I had a reliable friend.. I wish things were different. Frowner

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Raph Frowner I hope you'll feel better soon. I wish I knew what to say to make it happen. I care. I don't want you to feel depressed or lonely.

There are things you could do to meet people with a common interest. But it's hard. Especially if you're feeling sad. Like I said, I wish I could make you feel better.

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