Em Mitchell

Wee Rants

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It is too close to Christmas for me to be feeling this crappy. (not physically, I'm talkin mood-wise)

Where's that boyfriend of mine that the chef at work keeps telling me is so great?

Being aloof and sort of distant you say? Stressed out and dealing with frustration badly?

I want to help, really I do, but there's not much I can do but put up with this and keep in mind that the love is bigger.

I'm not doing a very good job.

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This is a very very wee very petty/teenaged-girlish rant. But it's kinda bumming me out.

My two very best friends in the whole world made plans together today and didn't invite me. It's kind of like a thing that we always all get together and we don't like... leave each other out. But I guess they do now, which makes me sad. Because I thought we were a unit.

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I'm so sorry for you. Sometimes people can be cruel but they don't realize it..

But, please, don't worry so much about that, don't take it personally.

I have my best friend since i was born and sometimes she does things without me. And sometimes, i do things without her.. I love her so much but you know, you don't have to be with all your best friends everywhere everytime. Of course, if your friends always made plans together without you, it is a problem. But, the fact that they have made plans together without you just once doesn't show that you are not a unit. You are a unit, there are your best friends. Wink

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No I totally get that, and obviously they have other friends, I have other friends and we don't all do everything together.

But when it comes to just the three of us, any one of us would feel excluded if we weren't invited and the other two got together. I guess that's kind of just how we function. Or so I thought. :/

Thank you for your kind reply, it's such a petty immature problem, I feel stupid feeling so bad about it. Frowner

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Mikaela, you are not alone with that feeling! We can be immature and teenage-girlish together. Or something. Smiler

I have many "best" friends from different phases of my life, but I'm closest with these two right now. First we all got to know each other separately and then we somehow became a trio. I do stuff with both of them without the other and they do stuff without me, but we try to get all together as often as we can. We do the big things together. We don't leave each other out, we share and we invite. And still, for the past months, I've been so sad over the fact that they are going on an interrail trip in Europe next summer without me. They have talked about this very openly, I know all their plans and how they're very enthusiastic to. This whole thing bases on the first time they really talked to each other and ended up joking about them making this epic trip together. I wasn't there, but I've heard the story afterwards. Now they're actually doing it. And I do realise very well that this is THEIR plan and THEIR dream - as I said, I wasn't there. I guess I just thought that four and a half years later it wouldn't matter that I wasn't there, at least not as much as the fact that we are a trio and I love them and I want to do things with them. They know all my trust issues and abandonement issues so I thought it might occur to them that I would be a little hurt. Whenever they talk about this trip and get all enthusiastic about their plans, I try to tell myself that this is their thing and it's not my place to interfere and force myself in if I'm not wanted there. I just hoped that they would want me.

It seems I haven't learnt anything about relationships since elementary school, which is kind of pathetic... I guess the smart thing to do would be just to tell them that I feel left out so the whole issue wouldn't just hang in the air ruining my mood. So, Mikaela, in case you are braver than I am, I think you could mention to your friends that you felt excluded? Maybe they were just a little inconsiderate and somehow didn't realise that they made you feel bad. Perhaps if you talked things through you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore. I hope it all works out for the best.

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Oh.. You don't have to feel stupid !

I am sorry, I didn't realise how sad you were. Frowner

With my best friends we are a very close trio too so I think I can understand you. I mean, like rainna and you, we do the big things together. For example, the past summer we went on a trip to London. I would be very sad if they did this trip without me..

I hope they will realise that you feel bad.

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Aww Rainna I'm so sorry! That sounds like the worst. Frowner I hope everything works out, maybe you could talk to them about it and explain how you feel? I understand not wanting to kind of invite yourself along either because you never want to force your company upon people you who are supposed to want your company in the first place... But I am glad we can sulk together. Even though your friend problem is bigger than mine, and your feelings are much more justified, whereas I am just acting like a bitchy 12 year old girl, and simultaneously feeling horrible about it.

I kind of figured out what the deal is here with me just in time for everything to blow up between all of us. I guess I've never really been the cool one in any aspect of my life and to feel wanted and loved so much by two people felt so good that when I stopped to let myself think that maybe they were closer to each other than to me it kind of sent me into one of those sneaky hate spirals that makes you overreact and write long and emotional letters and read them to your friends over the phone. Oy vey. What a mess I've made.

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I know the last post was a while ago, but almostspotless I don't think you're

quote:
acting like a bitchy 12 year old girl

I think it's understandable you'd feel like that.

In fact I was on Facebook a little while ago, and I saw photos from a couple of friends' trip to the coast. It's not like they're being deliberately mean, but y'know.. It's not even as 'bad' like what happened with you - you and the other two friends sound like you've been really close for a while.

This reminds me of those occasions, like you might hear about your friends having a great time at the movies/wherever and you weren't there and just feel a bit left out (but feel bad about feeling bad hah). I'm guilty of doing this myself though, maybe not inviting someone somewhere, not out of dislike but usually laziness (not having their phone number, and they don't have a Facebook or any trace of existence or contact on the Internet) or we're not close enough that I'm certain of how much they'd want to hang out.

Are things with your friends OK now? They must love you, for you guys to be close and know each other for so long.. I know it's horrible to feel like they might be closer to each other, and you're left out. Hope things work out OK!

quote:
sneaky hate spirals

Like in Hyperbole and a half?

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogs...aky-hate-spiral.html

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quote:
Originally posted by Kateateyou:

I know the last post was a while ago, but almostspotless I don't think you're

quote:
acting like a bitchy 12 year old girl

I think it's understandable you'd feel like that.

In fact I was on Facebook a little while ago, and I saw photos from a couple of friends' trip to the coast. It's not like they're being deliberately mean, but y'know.. It's not even as 'bad' like what happened with you - you and the other two friends sound like you've been really close for a while.

This reminds me of those occasions, like you might hear about your friends having a great time at the movies/wherever and you weren't there and just feel a bit left out (but feel bad about feeling bad hah). I'm guilty of doing this myself though, maybe not inviting someone somewhere, not out of dislike but usually laziness (not having their phone number, and they don't have a Facebook or any trace of existence or contact on the Internet) or we're not close enough that I'm certain of how much they'd want to hang out.

Are things with your friends OK now? They must love you, for you guys to be close and know each other for so long.. I know it's horrible to feel like they might be closer to each other, and you're left out. Hope things work out OK!

quote:
sneaky hate spirals

Like in Hyperbole and a half?

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogs...aky-hate-spiral.html

I was hoping someone would get the hyperbole and a half reference. Smiler

Everything is worked out now, thank goodness. We're all good and idyllic again.

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I basically lost my job and I'm kind of depressed...

About three weeks ago, I was making a pretty good amount of money considering I was babysitting, about $100 a week, but they said they couldn't afford to pay me that much (which is bull because it's a couple with two full time jobs who make more than my mother per hour each) and instead would pay me about $60-$80 a week.

That would be fine with me, but jump to now, and they're using three different people in my family for free babysitting (even going as far as to buy one of them a car so they don't have to pay me $5 an hour) on the days I'd usually babysit, and now I'm only working about 3 hours out of all of it, which is about $15 a week. I really don't know what to do, and I've been so stressed...

/rant

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