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MusicLover_2007

Dating & Money

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i'd say that going dutch is the smartest way to go, because alternating who pays could lead to both of you assuming it was the other's turn... Then it's out the bathroom window! Razzer

Haha i agree with Jodi--it depends on the relationship. i feel like a good relationship would lead to a shared bill, unless one is, like, a millionaire and would feel bad having their date shell out.... Regardless of sex.

also, "Modern Girls and Old Fashioned Men" made me lol, and earned me a weird look from my friend Big Grin

P.S. way to bring up a relevant, important topic, musiclover... not. Also, i thought you were a woman for some reason. Oops...

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quote:
Originally posted by jellybeanjules:

no one is blaming men for the loss of chivalry. i would much rather have equality and feminism than chivalry. chivalry was killed for a reason...it's just sexism wearing a pretty smile

well said, I absolutely agree.

when it comes to gender stereotypes though, I think it's easy to get "tempted" to play along with it. It's like we've been fed with the image of the knight in shining armor and the beautifully vulnerable (and feeble) young virgin so much, that when we get a chance to play one of these parts, I think we get into it just automatically.

when I was going to the airport in St Petersburg, it was so natural for one of the men (strangers) on the subway to carry my heavy suitcase for me (a small woman). It was expected that someone get up and help me. (just the way it's expected to give your seat to an old person on the bus.) and I liked it.

Chivalry perhaps... playing along with gender stereotypes perhaps... but it was really nice to get some help. maybe if one could just ignore the fact that I was a woman and he was a man. maybe we could just focus on me being a small person, and the fact that someone physically stronger helped me out... (I would have been just as pleased with a strong woman carrying my bag.)

coz when it all comes down to it... I wanna be the knight in shining armor sometimes. I make good money, let me pay. I'm good at bargaining, let me take care of the cab driver. but I'm fucking weak so you carry my bag for me. and I can't cook, so if he wants to treat me good sometime, cook for me. :P

and why don't guys get to be the vulnerable one in a relationship once in a while?

I say...let's fight the gender stereotypes worked into our heads. and let me treat my guy once in a while. let me be the one to open the door for him sometimes. and then maybe I can just be flattered next time he opens a door for me.

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quote:
btw, what does "going dutch" mean? :S

help me out? anyone?

Going dutch doesn't mean splitting the bill 50/50, it means paying for what you bought. You order a $7 sandwich and he orders a $8 sandwich, you pay $7 he pays $8.

Also, glad you agree, Yaya. I think most women today agree that men paying for them all the time is disconcerting.

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quote:
Originally posted by Yaya:

btw, what does "going dutch" mean? :S Confused

help me out? anyone?

it means wearing wooden clogs to dinner and bringing your date tulips.

god that would be an awesome date.

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quote:
Originally posted by Yaya:

well said, I absolutely agree.

when it comes to gender stereotypes though, I think it's easy to get "tempted" to play along with it. It's like we've been fed with the image of the knight in shining armor and the beautifully vulnerable (and feeble) young virgin so much, that when we get a chance to play one of these parts, I think we get into it just automatically.

*raises hand* Guilty!

That is too true... I really think just hit the nail on the head. I have nothing to add because you said it so perfectly. It's almost as though we feel we have to fulfill these roles just because they're so ingrained into our society, and this is especially true of men.

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If the woman really does sincerely want to pay for the date, or some of it, then I have no problem letting her. But if I don't pay I feel like a huge jerk. This one time a friend of mine who is a girl, asked me to go with her to get her drink refilled at the Movies. I said sure and went with her. Next thing you know we find out you cant get refills. And you know how expensive shit is at the Movies. I HAD to buy her a new drink.....that is just me though.

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