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four from far

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Originally posted by swimmingpoolnoises:

haha embarrassing confession, but i hate going into record stores (especially the one across the street from the college i go to) because i feel like i have to look a certain way to rummage through records and the ppl working there give me a look and make me feel i'm out of place. what do you guys think? i hope i'm not crazy!

haha, I think I know what you mean. I went to a The Naked and Famous/Freelance Whales/Foals concert during Easter break with a girl named Sonya and another named Maddy (both of Russian-Jewish descent - edit: that was news to me. I mean, I didn't know they were born in Moscow and spoke a little bit of Russian). Don't ask how I knew them... okay fine, they were my younger sister's friends from the uber-rich private high school she attends. I was originally gonna go alone, but my sister told them about it and I ended up going with them because they wanted to go too. Anyway, I have never felt so out of place, as you will soon learn. I wore slim-fit grey jeans from Calvin Klein and a dark blue sweater, and they totally dressed ultra-hipster. Anyway, we got there early and pretty much hung out at like the left-center frontline next to the stage. I wish we had picked a spot more towards the center, because the left speakers totally raped my left ears. The opening band was The Naked and Famous. Holy hell were they loud. Their sound was so distorted that I just could not enjoy. My left ear was almost bleeding. Their drummer was hitting the drums so hard that I saw his drumstick splinter. Their vocals were completely drowned out and overpowered by the heavy guitar and percussion. To be fair, The Naked and Famous are a noise pop band. Anyway, next up, The Freelance Whales. This is what I came for. I caught a glimpse of Judah Dadone's buttcrack when they were setting up. Judah, wear some goddamn boxers, ffs! I was psyched about the glockenspiel, the harmonium, and the watering can. I'll love any band that uses unconventional instruments as their primary instruments. After enduring so much sonic pain, I was a happy kid for the brief period while Freelance Whales were playing. After their set ended, some girl next to us got the printed copy of the setlist they had set down at their feet. And then, another opportunity stuck. As Foals was setting up, the stage crew picked up the copy of the setlist sitting on the drums and were handing it out, and yes, I snatched it. The people who had came for Freelance Whales had left by this time, so I'm glad I waited around, even though I wanted to leave once I got what I came for, but I couldn't leave Sonya and Maddy, so I stayed for Foals. The setlist for the Freelance Whales for the 4/25/11 show at the Turner Hall Ballroom was:

"GEN 1








GEN 2"

Foals was up next. I will admit that Foals had the best sound quality. Although, they did take 40 minutes to set-up, did extensive soundcheck, and cooperated with the sound engineers at the sidelines. But again, I am more of a lyrics-oriented guy, and Foals is not a band known for their lyrics (and yet, their song 'Spanish Sahara' got nominated for the Ivor Novello Award for 'Best Song Musically and Lyrically' this year. I hope they lose.). And again, won't anyone please please think of my virgin ears? Seriously, Foals knows how to lay a good beat, but I just could not hear the words. Sonya was rocking out to it hard. She was nodding her head like mad and she had this weird dance move where she closed her fists, put one arm over the other so her wrists were criss-crossed, and sort of extended her arms up in the air like that. It was weird, but also kinda cute. Anyway, I just tried to keep my balance. Sonya and Maddy were lucky in that they didn't get pushed around, because they're girls and so people respect their space I guess, but people kept brushing up against me. I tried to give people the look and tried really hard to not be bumped into Sonya or Maddy. I actually tried to stand like a frozen statue to try to measure how much the ground was shaking because of people jumping around me, but then I'd lose my balance. I naturally went up and down without even moving. It's like being in one of those inflatable bounce houses filled with air that are like a trampoline that you don't want to be in. The crowd probably thought I was some sort of killjoy because I kept trying to discreetly press my left ear. After the show, I was hoping that was enough, cause it was getting kinda late, but no. The encore is built into the show nowadays. It's such an awkward affair. Oh, and before that, some loser got on stage, opened his jacket to reveal a Foals t-shirt, and then jumped on the crowd to crowdsurf. It happened so fast. No one caught him. Some people laughed, and then a few gasped. Earlier, someone from the front tried to swim on top of the crowd and he got handed to the back end of the concert hall. Shucks to him. Anyway, after a five minute intermission, Foals comes back on. They're all smoking cigarettes now, and they had the audacity to throw the cigarettes on the floor when they needed to start strumming the guitar. And the guitarist guy, Jimmy Smith, he kept getting drinking whatever he was drinking, and then, he shook his bottle, and raised his eyebrows expectantly, as if to say "who wants?". And I was like, oh god, please no, for the love of mercy, no. But no. I got hit with the stream of alcohol he was throwing out at the crowd, like he was trying to do some service by baptizing the audience with alcohol. So, my hair smelt like beer and my nice blue sweater smelled of cigarettes now. Great. And they advertised this show as "all ages, non-smoking, handicap accessible". And then, the lead singer of Foals, Yannis Philippakis, he jumped on top of that concert speaker on the left that was giving me grief, and then, that crazy madman, he stepped on the railing, and jumped towards the balcony, and got on the balcony. I would not have shed a tear if he had fallen. So, he runs all around the balcony, goes all the way to the other end of it, and then comes back. I could see a couple of the Freelance Whales guys watching from up there too. So he comes back, and finishes the show. I'm pretty sure their last song was "Red Socks Pugie". Anyway, I'm pretty disappointed that I didn't take any pictures with my camera cellphone, cause I pretty much entrusted the responsibility to the others. The girl I was with, Sonya, is going to major in photography at the New York University, and the other girl, Maddy, had an obnoxious clunky neon vintage camera that had the worst picture quality. Anyway, the only pictures Sonya took were of the lead singer of The Naked and Famous (I have to admit, the keyboardist for the Naked and Famous was kinda yummy), Kevin Read (the cute guitarist from the Freelance Whales), and Yannis Philippakis and Jimmy Smith of Foals (who I don't find attractive what so ever. I mean, I would not let them near my kids much less baby-sit them, that is if I had kids). Sonya was only focused on trying to get edgy photos from artistic angles of the band members that she found sexy (you can check them out if you scroll a little bit to the right on [edit: link redacted - she is a public person, but it's probably not a good idea to give too much info] - her artwork is actually really good, she's got a keen eye for composing her subjects in an interesting way. Yes, that's her with the bloody nose and the skinny jeans that ripped, the very same she wore to the concert.). I regret not getting any pictures of Doris Cellar, but the prize souvenir of the printed setlist made me happy enough. The entire time, Sonya and Maddy were tweeting and texting. Pfft, rich people, they think their lives are soo interesting and blog-worthy, don't they? Can't you just enjoy the show please? Get the full experience, you know? After the concert, Sonya asked me, "What'd you think?" I said, "It was okay" and she was like "Go home!" It was raining softly outside. It was pretty nice actually. The gentle birdsongs made everything seem so serene and almost healed my left ear that was still ringing. I sat down on the low border-wall of a tree as cool breeze swept through us, a nice breath of fresh air, interrupted occasionally by the hipsters smoking Parliaments. I remarked to Maddy, "I turned around to measure the size of the crowd, and ... I don't think I have ever seen so many Buddy Holly glasses in my life." She said, "Oh, haha, that's so right." The next week, my sis is showing me pictures from Maddy's album on Facebook, and guess what? She got a pair of hipster glasses (apparently, according to my sis, she was getting a bad grade in some class just because she didn't want to get/wear glasses and refused to move to see the board better). Anyway, that's my story about that night when I went to see Freelance Whales and got a different experience than I was expecting. I'm just not a concert-going person. I can't live in the moment. I'm always anticipating the next line of the verse or guessing what song they'll play next and what song they'll end on. I'm the type of person who likes to partake in solitary activities. Going as a group makes me wonder too much how the others are perceiving it and if they're having a good time. And oh yeah, Sonya and Maddy had a great time. They're so into Foals now. It's like all they listen to now. And me, I'm kinda turned off by Foals now. Freelance Whales are still wicked cool though. In conclusion, oh hell no, my god, never again. From now on, I only go to acoustic folk bands, and only exceptions for if I actually like the rock band if they're playing.

But yeah, the larger point, I still feel out of place and out of sync or rhythm with hipsters. I actually try to actively avoid associating myself with hipster icons, no matter how much I wanted John Lennon glasses or horn-rimmed glasses or wanted to imitate the military aesthetic with those military jackets that have gone mainstream before I could complete the Kings-inspired outfit I was contemplating. I adhere to the Quaker ideal of dressing plainly. I did some research on Quakerism for a world religions project for a theology class in high school, and so I decided to wear only solid colors and avoid clothes with brand names on them, cause I don't want to be a walking billboard for free. Annie-way... sorry, that took a little bit longer than I expected. Hope you found my little story entertaining. ;^) Now, you probably know about how rare it is for me and a girl to engage in conversation in real life, but this was a one-off thing. What can I say? *shrug* It didn't go terribly. Freelance Whales, woot! ;^D

edit: re-reading this, it doesn't quite have the same cringe comedy effect I was intending. This was more of a laugh at myself and how much of a loser I am. Obviously, if you couldn’t tell by my tone, I was being sarcastic when deriding my sister’s friends. The account is pretty truthful. I was trying to let the reader cast their own judgments about the character and reliability of the narrator (me) and if he/she is being serious or not by laying out the naked contradictions and hypocrisies. I don't really hate Foals (okay, I hate the lead singer), I guess I'm just jealous of their apparent sex appeal which I don't really understand. Apologies to anyone that is rich and/or wears hipster glasses or is a hipster (I assume that's all of us). While they make for such easy targets, the real punchline was meant to be myself. It's probably not the best idea to give out fullnames, so I took out the link with the pictures. This is probably a bad idea overall. Oh well. (I’m starting to say those last two sentences to myself more and more often lately. True story.) I trust the people on here not to be creepers when it comes to piecing together information and stalking me or anyone else for that matter. I feel like I’m compensating for the void left in our hearts by MusicLover. Sorry to derail this thread. You may go back to talking about the 'far' vinyl now.

edit2: I still find this hilarious. I feel sorry for the lots that suffered through reading this. I'm sorry, so sorry.

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